what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just cut my nipple shaving
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
