Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
