you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
