No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
