oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
