Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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