I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize