I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
