I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
