I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
