fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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