I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
