i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
