hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
