Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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