you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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