Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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