Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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