There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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