Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
