It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
