Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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