I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
