i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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