I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
