I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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