everyone is single if you try hard enough
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
