Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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