wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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