What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
