I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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