Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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