did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
