We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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