How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
