yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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