I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
