That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
