Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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