If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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