And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You need Xanax blowdarts
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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