"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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