she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
