Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
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