Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
"it" just moved
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
