How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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