he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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