I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
