Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
