So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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