Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
