why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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