I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
one two three fourrrrnication!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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