I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Couch. On fire.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
