It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
