Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
