Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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