I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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