oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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