I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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