He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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