oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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