What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
