I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
