I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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