I think I am morally bankrupt
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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