i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
