So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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